my day…..
well. i got new glasses today. my first pair ever. i was excited for them to come in, but i didn’t realize how hard they’d be to adjust to. it feels weird wearing them, and i think i look pretty ugly in them. i’m ugly without them, but with them….blech. i dunno….plus bc of astigmatism the world looks like it’s all tilted when they’re on and so that’s hard…i guess it should get better within a week or so, according to a friend and the eye dr.
i was not excited for class tonight, but it was SO awesome! the professor is just really fun and really knowledgable. she has great stories about different clients (obviously anonymously described) that really help clarify everything that she’s teaching. she’s also hilarious and the material is really thought-provoking. i feel as though i have learned a lot each time i leave the class. the funny part is that the girl i was in a class with last semester (a class that i hated and she LOVED and always participated in SO LOUDLY) is in this class, and she’s super quiet and i heard her saying she doesn’t like the class. hm…..but yeah. and i participate A LOT. i feel comfortable talking in this class, whereas usually i feel a bit judged.
i contacted an old friend today that i’ve had a pretty rocky relationship with in the past. she and i have had MAJOR ups and downs, and i was SURE that i’d never talk to her again. but today i started thinking about the kind of life i want and the people i want in it. i realized that she and her family are important to me. even if we aren’t friends in the same way we were in the past, a cutoff is immature and i’d really like to just keep updated with each other and to maintain even a little of that bond if possible. i’m nervous to speak with her. nervous it will hit a nerve or something and i’ll feel really sad afterward. but i think it’s worth giving a conversation a shot. she’s supposed to call me tomorrow and said she wants to catch up too. i hope she does actually call, i’m afraid to be let down. blah. i need to stop feeling so fragile.
i’m feeling a bit wired/like i can’t sleep. i guess it’s anxiety about money/my body/friend stuff/etc. i feel like things in my life are changing a lot lately. i’m thinking of people in a different light, and trying to conceptualize what my own values are, as opposed to always trying to be like someone else. it’s always been “who is the person to compare myself to now.” the truth is, i am who i am regardless of other people, and i don’t even know myself. i’ve worked so hard at trying to modify who i am in response to other’s actions or expectations that i haven’t even felt like A PERSON, an individual since i was like ten. it’s a scary but interesting prospect to consider the life that i want to live, what i want in it, what i value, etc.
PS FUN FACT OF THE DAY THAT I LEARNED IN CLASS: THE BRAIN CONSUMES TWENTY PERCENT OF OUR CALORIE INTAKE!!! what?!?! no wonder i sound like a moron when i’m in ed mode. another great reason to stay well ;)
